Dear Daughters,
One thing that makes your Papa sigh is receiving a negative report from your Momma about your behavior while you're out running errands with her.
Today was one of those days.
Apparently, a few of you were grumbling and whining because things weren't going the way you wanted. And goodness gracious, girls, I know how frustrating that can be for your Momma.
Now, I'm not without sympathy here. Your mother and I struggle with this ourselves. Life can be rather frustrating when it doesn't follow the path we've imagined, and sometimes we respond with the same complaining attitudes we correct in you.
But I want to press in on something I think is particularly important.
How we deal with sin and its consequences.
Does God's Grace Mean We Escape the Consequences of Sin?
I've had a few of you come to me in tears when you've gotten into trouble. In fact, that happened today. After whining and complaining, you came to me asking for grace.
And I'll admit, my heart went out to you. It's difficult to see your children crying, especially when they're pleading for mercy.
I know that feeling myself. There have been many times when I've disobeyed God and felt the agony of realizing that I've failed yet again.
But daughters, there's something I need you to understand.
Being forgiven doesn't necessarily mean the consequences of our actions disappear.
Consider a husband who has been unfaithful to his wife. Suppose he goes to his pastor, confesses what he's done, and is told that he needs to repent, take responsibility, and begin making things right with his wife. But rather than accepting that correction, he complains that the pastor is being judgmental and ought to show him more grace.
Do you see the problem?
Sometimes when we ask for grace, what we really want is permission to do as we please without experiencing the consequences.
And goodness knows, we're all tempted to think that way.
I've caught you girls sneaking things out of the kitchen before. You knew you weren't supposed to have them, and when you realized you'd been caught, the tears began flowing. Now, I can't always know exactly what was happening in your hearts, but sometimes it seemed that you were more upset about getting caught than about what you'd done.
And I understand that. Discipline hurts. Whether it's a time-out, losing a privilege, or having to make something right, consequences rarely feel pleasant at the time.
But that doesn't necessarily make them unloving.
Galatians 6:7 reminds us that we reap what we sow. Our choices matter, and sometimes they bring consequences that we cannot simply wish away.
Repentance is important. Forgiveness is wonderful. But neither should become an excuse for refusing responsibility.
God Disciplines the Children He Loves
I promise you something, girls. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't be so concerned about correcting these behaviors.
I could simply allow you to continue whining, complaining, sneaking things you weren't supposed to have, or speaking disrespectfully to your Momma. That might certainly make my life easier in the moment!
But what kind of father would I be if I allowed you to develop habits that could harm you later in life?
Imagine carrying those same attitudes into your marriage, friendships, or workplace. How might constant complaining, dishonesty, or an unwillingness to accept correction affect your relationships?
I love you far too much to be indifferent to those things.
And as your father, I'm trying, however imperfectly, to resemble our Heavenly Father.
Hebrews 12:6 tells us that the Lord disciplines the one He loves. Later, in verse 11, we're reminded that discipline is painful rather than pleasant at the time, but that it produces the peaceful fruit of righteousness in those who have been trained by it.
Isn't that interesting?
God doesn't treat His children as though their behavior doesn't matter. He corrects them precisely because they belong to Him.
But I want to make an important distinction. For those who are in Christ, God's discipline is not condemnation. Romans 8:1 tells us that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
His correction is fatherly, intended for our good, not an attempt to make us earn His love.
And your Momma and I must remember that, too. Sometimes we become frustrated and fail to correct you with the patience we should. When that happens, we need to acknowledge our own sin and seek forgiveness.
After all, discipline should never be an excuse for a parent to vent his anger. It should be an expression of love.
So, daughters, when you ask for grace, remember that grace is not something you can demand as though it were owed to you. Grace is freely given, and its purpose is never to encourage us to continue in sin.
Romans 2:4 reminds us that God's kindness is intended to lead us to repentance.
To repentance.
Not to make us comfortable remaining exactly as we are.
And sometimes, the loving correction we desperately want to avoid is one of the very things God uses to help us grow.
I hope you never become afraid to confess your wrongdoing or seek mercy, either from God or from those you've hurt. But I also hope you'll learn to receive correction humbly, take responsibility for your actions, and understand that forgiveness and consequences can exist together.
So whether you're reading this as a young woman dealing with the consequences of your own decisions, or perhaps as a mother trying to discipline a child who simply won't listen, I hope you'll remember this lesson.
Love doesn't mean overlooking every wrong, and grace doesn't mean removing every consequence.
Sometimes love requires correction, even when that correction hurts.
And sometimes receiving that correction with humility is part of our own growth in grace.
I love you girls, and I'm proud of you. I want you to become women who are quick to repent, grateful for mercy, and humble enough to accept correction.
Your Papa loves you.
Papa